You have just won a million dollars (or pounds, if you prefer).
1. Who do you call first?
I'd call my parents, partly to ask them for advice, and partly to offer to do things like pay off their mortgage. Then ... I don't know. I'd be terrified of telling anybody else, for fear of how they'd react.
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
Well, first I'd pay off all my bills and debts. Student loan, credit card bills, the mortgage on 13FR, and all the money I owe sion_a and my parents. Then ... I dunno. There's nothing I especially want at the moment that money can buy. It'd be nice to be able to buy CDs and things without worrying about the money.
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
I don't know. I would worry a lot about making people feel awkward/guilty by suddenly giving them big things, and then I'd worry about looking really stingy by only giving people small things, and the whole thing would just end up making me utterly miserable. Recently I seem to have completely lost the ability to buy appropriate/wanted presents for people, too. I'd probably just take some friends out to dinner ... and then spend the whole evening worrying that they thought I was trying to buy their friendship.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Yes. Probably most of it. To my parents, and my sister, and to some deserving charities. And then I'd worry that everybody thought I was being unfair/stupid and that I should invest it / give it to them / buy more things for other people / etc.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
Dunno. Investing is something that grown-up rich people do; I've never had enough money to bother, and I wouldn't know where to start. Maybe I'd just hire an accountant and say "Invest this somewhere that will make a reasonable amount of money at fairly low risk". But I don't like talking to professional money-handling people, because they just laugh at me for being so stupid.
I hate money. I wish I didn't have to deal with it at all, I wish I could live in a society where it didn't exist, where people just did things for each other and exchanged things and didn't have to believe in money at all. I know it's not feasible but I still can't help wishing it; I don't like the sort of boundaries that money creates. The thought of winning a million pounds just like that makes me feel really ill ... I really hope it never happens.