Janet (j4) wrote,

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Memes and crazy dreams

LAST CIGARETTE: lnr seems to think it was the one we scrounged from julietk at Stay Beautiful back in April ... I don't think I've smoked since then.
LAST BIG CAR RIDE: The drive to Glastonbury, I guess.
LAST KISS: Kissing hoiho goodbye on Sunday.
LAST GOOD CRY: Sunday. Will not cry now. No.
LAST LIBRARY BOOK CHECKED OUT: a book of jazz piano standards which is probably overdue now actually.
LAST MOVIE SEEN: At the cinema? Can't remember. Matrix II probably. I don't go to the cinema much.
LAST BEVERAGE DRANK DRUNK: Drank drunk? Eh? What? Coffee.
LAST FOOD CONSUMED: Strawberry Nutrigrain bar rescued from underneath the mouldy satsumas (I'd wondered what the weird smell was!) in my desk drawer.
LAST CRUSH: Can't remember. It's all fading.
LAST PHONE CALL: Phoned my mum on Sunday. She's probably getting tired of listening to me cry at her.
LAST TV SHOW WATCHED: Er... I think the TV was on last night but I wasn't really paying attention. Last thing I actually watched was "Have I Got News For You" on Friday.
LAST TIME SHOWERED: Saturday morning, I think. I can't remember. I usually have baths.
LAST SHOES WORN: The worn-out trainers I'm wearing now.
LAST CD PLAYED: I've just put on "This Fire" by Paula Cole. (I bought it because I know and like "Where have all the cowboys gone?", and somebody on bofh.* sig-quoted some lyrics from "Me" and they appealed to me too.) It's really very very good.)
LAST ITEM BOUGHT: Christmas presents for people, from IWOOT.com.
LAST ANNOYANCE: Leaving my karate kit at home this morning, which means I'll have to drive home at lunchtime to pick it up.
LAST ICE CREAM EATEN: Can't remember.
LAST TIME SCOLDED: Huh? I get flamed all the time, does that count?
LAST SHIRT WORN: Pink silk shirt, for Police job interview, probably.

I dreamed I was at some kind of festival/event-type-thing, and I was talking to two blokes who were trying to form some kind of jazz band. I listened to their band for a bit but to be honest they weren't very good, and while I was listening I was trying to buy beer from a bunch of people who were handing out drinks, and they kept giving me drinks for free, but I kept trying to pay them. In the end I threw a £2 coin at them, and they threw it back into the crowd, and the next person to catch it threw it as well, and in the end a little boy caught it but didn't throw it to anybody else. I caught up with him and I think he thought I was going to demand the money back, but I said he could keep it because he'd shown initiative in not just throwing it away.

The blokes in the jazz band had given up trying to play music and were wandering off to other bits of the festival, so I wandered along with them, I think I'd taken a bit of a fancy to one of them. He said he was going to some sort of talk on "The Holy Cross", and I thought it sounded interesting because it was all about religious symbolism through the ages, but when I looked closer at the programme it turned out to be to do with the "Way of [something]", and I didn't want to go if it was just going to be some kind of cult thing, so I let jazz-bloke go on his own, and I went to find something more interesting.

I was going to go out into the gardens but I couldn't get there without going through an exhibition called "The Garret"; when I got to the door of this there was quite a queue, because they'd closed it temporarily, and I only realised afterwards that I could have just walked past the queue and got into the grounds that way; but I queued up with all the others. It was some kind of reenactment of an old-style kitchen, or something like that, and when I got in I was handed an apron and a big block of something red and cold which I knew was butter, and the person who was letting us in through the door asked "Do you know what to do with it?" and I said "Keep it cold", and he nodded and let me in. I didn't really know what to do, so I just watched everybody else & followed them; I put the stuff I'd been carrying -- my coat, a cardboard box, a bag -- into a big basket along with everybody else's coats etc., and I put my block of red butter on top of another block of the same stuff, and then I don't remember anything else about the kitchen bit, though I do remember having a look at "The Gold Room" -- which turned out to be just a few glass cases full of bits of gold -- before leaving this bit of the exhibition.

I remember going through the door into some sort of garden but after that it gets confused with another dream I had ages ago, and I think I woke up not long afterwards.

This morning I looked out of the car window across the fields to the tips of the colleges, and the leaves and the grass were sodden, plastered with mashed-up fallen leaves, and the distant buildings loomed large and dark in the greyness of the autumn morning ... and somehow all this transported my mind back to when I was at school, and I could feel my stomach sinking and the heavy grey uniform dragging me down, and I remembered (or perhaps understood for the first time) my subconscious wish that the car journey would just go on for ever because it was an inbetween place, a place where I didn't have to be anything.

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