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you're making lists today of all the things you haven't done yet - shadows of echoes of memories of songs
j4
j4
you're making lists today of all the things you haven't done yet
Out of the things I aimed to get done this weekend, I managed to do most of them -- I tidied my room (and the living room), I got several batches of clothes washed, I did some piano practice, and ... I think that's about it.

Yesterday I did my first shift as a volunteer at Oxfam Books on Sidney Street. I think I did more useful work in one afternoon there than I have done in three years at ProQuest. The other people who work there are lovely, and I spent a happy afternoon shifting piles of books around and sorting them into boxes. It's not quite the roomful of books which do not symbolise anything that I was looking for, but it's close enough to make me happy.

I've been working hard on stuff for ProQuest today. It's soul-destroyingly boring, unsurprisingly. I had a lot of motivation this morning because I'd planned to meet hoiho for lunch and I wanted to get lots of work done beforehand; but he was feeling too ill to do lunch in the end. The motivation lasted for a little while after that anyway, but now it's gone.

Sometimes I feel like I spend my entire life waiting for things that probably won't happen.

When I finish this post I'm going to go and get a coffee, and maybe something to eat. I think I can just about manage to plan that far ahead.

Current Mood: distant

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j4 From: j4 Date: October 14th, 2003 08:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, you said you were feeling ill. Though I knew at least part of that was likely to be stress. :-(

*hugs*
(Deleted comment)
j4 From: j4 Date: October 14th, 2003 08:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Did I?

Well, you said:

"Interview overw i'm going home for a lie down - don't feel well, slept badly too..."

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better now.
k425 From: k425 Date: October 15th, 2003 04:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Doing stuff: Well done. Especially on the tidying front. I always need a deadline for tidying (like having a baby isn't a deadline...).

Volunteering: sounds like fun. Have you, er, thought about working in a bookshop or library?

Hoiho: I think you've just explained why I didn't get any contact about dropping in on his way south!
j4 From: j4 Date: October 15th, 2003 05:59 am (UTC) (Link)
I always need a deadline for tidying

Well, hoiho coming back to Cambridge was a sort-of deadline, like tidying up when I'm expecting visitors. Even though I tend to visit him instead of vice versa. But generally the thing that motivates me to tidy is realising that I've forgotten what colour the carpet is. That, and the inch-thick layers of dust on things. :-}

Volunteering: sounds like fun. Have you, er, thought about working in a bookshop or library?

Oh, I've done quite a lot of library work and enjoyed it, I'd gladly do that again if I could get paid a reasonable wage for it, but I don't really want to have to take a year out to do the library Masters course (because it costs money, is dull, and would involve me moving to somewhere other than Cambridge for a year) and without that there's a limit to what I can get paid as a librarian. Bookshops -- I don't really want to work in the commercial sector, to be honest. If I could get a paid job in a charity bookshop that'd be great, but it's unlikely (I think they pay their managers etc. but I don't want to be a manager!).

I want to do something that does some good for people. I suppose it does people good being able to buy things they want ... but on that basis I could rationalise anything as "doing good for people", including, I dunno, being a drug dealer. I think I want to be a bit closer to doing things that I believe to be "worthwhile". That sounds awfully woolly and teenagerish, doesn't it? "I want to help people." But in the absence of a real career direction, that's about the most I can narrow down what I want to do.

Hoiho: I think you've just explained why I didn't get any contact about dropping in on his way south!

Oh? I don't know why he didn't contact you; I expressed surprise that he hadn't gone to see you on the way back down, and he just said "I didn't say I would." <shrug> <sigh> The inscrutability of men, eh?
k425 From: k425 Date: October 16th, 2003 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Inch-thick layers of dust: vacuuming is good for this. Well, it's how I deal with it, anyway. When I finally decide I've had enough of it, that is.

Mum was a library assistant for years - not incredibly well-paid but no training required! Is there anywhere you can get proper careers advice? I know there's something out there with your name on it, but have no idea what it is.

Hoiho: He's right, he didn't say he would. He said he'd "like to" and he "may well do so". I shouldn't have expected a reply to my SMS asking whether we should be expecting him...
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