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More job stress - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
j4
j4
More job stress
The NHS want an application form filled in, although they didn't make this clear (or make the form available) before so I hoped I could just get away with a CV and covering letter. I haven't had time to do it (I loathe application forms anyway) and I need to phone them up and ask about the "how many days of absence due to sickness have you had in the last two years" question. I need to know how accurate they need it to be (I don't know how many, I don't have access to any records of it) and if I can find out subtly I want to know whether they check it with the employer.

And I've had email back from Analysys with three tests to do -- several hours' worth of tests -- as part of the selection process, which they want back "as soon as possible".

Wondering if I should spend Friday doing those applications instead of trying to get to the job fair that I was going to go to -- I don't know how useful the job fair would be; it sounded like a good idea but I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself of that because if I can look for jobs I feel like I'm doing something.

I feel like I really shouldn't be going away at the weekend, as well, because I should be applying for jobs pretty much non-stop now that I know I won't have much work from ProQuest after the end of September; but I've got tickets for the event at the weekend and I don't want to waste the money.

On the other hand looking at the tests from Analysys I can't help feeling that I'm really overestimating my abilities in the jobs I'm applying for; being surrounded by frighteningly-intelligent people whose attitude is "You can do anything you want to do!" is all very well but in their case they can do anything they want to. I can't. I really honestly feel like I should just give up on the idea of trying to get a job that requires some kind of skill, and look for bar work or shop work or something instead.

I feel sick every time I think about it. Being in this job for three years has killed what little ability I had to think, and I can't see any way of getting that ability back. I have no skills and there's nothing I want to do anyway. I don't want to have to work. I don't really want to have to live, to be honest.

Current Mood: panicking

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Comments
taimatsu From: taimatsu Date: September 24th, 2003 03:24 am (UTC) (Link)
I found the job fair I went to useful, partly because it gave me the feeling I was doing something (which I needed - I had got into a rut of not looking for work, and it kick-started me), partly because I got some useful information about possible jobs, but mostly because they had a CV advice clinic which was outstandingly wonderful. I saw the job fair advertised in a local freesheet paper, and it listed some of the exhibitors and some of their vacancies. IF you can find similar information I think it's a good idea, as you'll be able to see whether there are stands there you definitely want to visit, and maybe find out what sort of work is on offer.
(Deleted comment)
j4 From: j4 Date: September 24th, 2003 03:43 am (UTC) (Link)
might well land you in a job worse than PQ

So? At the end of this month I WILL NO LONGER HAVE A JOB. I'll have occasional part-time freelance work. That's not a full-time job, it wouldn't be enough to keep my head above water (I already owe sion_a thousands of pounds, I've got well over 2K credit card debt, and a current account that hovers around its overdraft limit).

you're underestimating yourself again

You're overestimating me, as usual, probably in the mistaken belief that it will increase my confidence or flatter me. It's simply not true that I can do anything I want to. And having people like you constantly insisting that it is true just makes me feel more and more hopeless and panicky and ill. And all the time I'm applying for jobs and completely failing to get them.

Try this: "I can do anything I want to, but whenever I try to do anything I get panicky and ill, and invariably fail". Does that make sense to you? I thought not.

By the way, how confident are you feeling about your job situation at the moment? You can do anything you want to do, you know.
lnr From: lnr Date: September 24th, 2003 05:39 am (UTC) (Link)
FWIW I know what you mean. It doesn't help to keep being told you can do things when you feel that you can't. And *nobody* can do anything they want to do, most of us can't even do half the things we'd like to.

That doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't be able to do this particular job, or the tests for it. It sounded from what you said to me earlier that you had a pretty good idea of how to approach two of them, but that the other one sounded more difficult. If it's for a technical writing job though perhaps the technicalese in it is deliberately written so as to be something you're unlikely to understand, and that none of the other candidates are going to know any more about it than you do?

*hugs* job hunting is pretty horrible no matter how happy and confident you're feeling, so it's no wonder if it's making you feel worse at the moment. I wish there was anything I could do to help.
bjh21 From: bjh21 Date: September 24th, 2003 07:40 am (UTC) (Link)
You only need to be worried about not being able to do a job if you expect that someone who is capable of it will apply. I meet plenty of people whom I wouldn't consider competent to do their jobs, but who are presumably the best that the interview panel could find, and who do the job well enough that they're better than no-one.

Oh, and go to the job fair. Meeting people is good.
meirion From: meirion Date: September 24th, 2003 12:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really honestly feel like I should just give up on the idea of trying to get a job that requires some kind of skill, and look for bar work or shop work or something instead.

you and me both. a raft of rejections (or non-acknowledgments of applications, even) tends to do that to a person.

and the stupid thing is that i know i have some skills (and i think you do too) but they're just not the skills people seem actually to want.

thanks for the recommendation of the uni's website, btw. i found a job there i'd love to do, preferably were it for more than 6h p.w., but i think i'll apply for it anyway.

hope one of your applications turns out well soon.

-m-
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