From: j4	Date: September 23rd, 2003 03:44 am (UTC)		(Link)

Are we playing Questions?

But seriously... It's obvious from the question what I believe the answer to be. But it's equally obvious IMO that the people who say "You mustn't tell anybody else what I've said" are relying on the fact that some people -- maybe even most people -- regard "secrets" and "confidences" as sacrosanct.

	From: karen2205	Date: September 23rd, 2003 04:37 am (UTC)		(Link)

FWIW, I'm with you. Secrets are not sacroscant. There are always times when it's right to breach someone's confidence - including when your trust has been broken.

	From: j4	Date: September 23rd, 2003 07:03 am (UTC)		(Link)

1) Not your problem.

Well, not in the abstract, no; but it becomes my problem when the way they act (as a result of their self-absorption) affects me and mine. In general I'd rather educate than annihilate; I'd rather get people to understand what they're doing, and give them the opportunity to change. If they understand but then carry on regardless, then that's a different matter; then I may well attribute to malice what I could formerly put explain as stupidity.

3) Not politely.

Yeah, that'd be my feeling, too. The problem is, if you tell people something like that impolitely, they can then accuse you of victimising them.

Tricky, huh?

(Who are you, btw?)

	From: j4	Date: September 23rd, 2003 07:08 am (UTC)		(Link)

1) Ah. So it's more or less a lost cause, then?

2) Thank you. I'm reassured to know that you agree with me. I trust your judgement on matters like this.

3. See response to Someone, above -- some degree of politeness is indicated for the sake of self-preservation.

On a more frivolous note, I love the user-icon. :)

	From: rysmiel	Date: September 23rd, 2003 07:19 am (UTC)		(Link)

1) Ah. So it's more or less a lost cause, then?

Not knowing the specific situation, I can't say. By comparison with most people I do seem to be rather optimistic on this.

2) Thank you. I'm reassured to know that you agree with me. I trust your judgement on matters like this.

My judgement on matters like this is way the heck situation-dependent; would be happy to take this to mail if it would be any use to you.

And thank you. *hug* For several reasons, not all of which are easy to fit in words and not all of which are suitable for posting, that thought is really good for me.

3. See response to Someone, above -- some degree of politeness is indicated for the sake of self-preservation.

Retaining the moral high ground, in that sense, is not always and necessarily compatible with either being right or getting a message across. Sometimes these are greater virtues. Again, situational.

On a more frivolous note, I love the user-icon.

Thought you might.