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It's changed from something comfortable to something else instead - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
j4
j4
It's changed from something comfortable to something else instead
Exhausted and miserable. Tired of failing to get anything done, feeling sick at the prospect of trying to put job applications together only to be told again that I'm unemployable, and really hurt at being laughed at (at least, that was what it sounded like) for worrying about it like this. And even more hurt at the total lack of attempt to apologise, indeed total lack of attempt to say anything until shouted at. And even then it was only "I don't know how to react".

Cross about the car, too. Yesterday one of pto452's fan blades sheared off as I was driving home from the pub. Quite a frightening experience really -- an almighty BANG from somewhere under the bonnet, strong smell of burning, and then the entire car rattling and vibrating enough to make the steering wheel uncomfortable to hold. Managed to ascertain that bits of car weren't rolling into the road, and pull over at the side of Maid's Causeway, but was a bit shaken by the whole thing. Thanks to hoiho for coming to the rescue, or at least stopping me panicking, and reassuring me that I wasn't going to damage the car any further by driving it in that state. God knows how I'm going to get it fixed now though, since I can't drive her to Witchford to see the moggy doctor. :-( New fan blades are only a fiver, but the entire [insert relevant noun here] that the fan's mounted on is worryingly wobbly, and I strongly suspect I'm going to end up having to get the entire bloody cooling system replaced.

Cycled in this morning for the first time in well over a month (hence the physical bits of the exhaustion I'm feeling). Took me almost exactly 20 minutes. I was going to actually use my new cycle computer to see if the spokeheads are right when they say I must be cycling at over 20mph; but the instructions for fitting it are far beyond the comprehension of my tiny little brain. I now ache in places I'd forgotten it was possible to ache.

Carlton beer festival starts tonight -- I'll be going straight there from work. See lots of you there, some time not long after 6pm, hopefully.

...

Oh, and some of you may have been waiting for a full report of Glastonbury from me -- I'm afraid it's going to have to wait until I have time to write it up! For now, a summary: bands were awesome, weather stayed mostly great, atmosphere was sparkly and magical, and I never ever wanted to leave. I should have just joined up with a circus troupe or something ("can sing, can dance, can wear spangly leotard...") or run away with the Lost Vagueness crew. Time yet for that, I guess.

Current Mood: weary
Now playing: Longpigs, "Lost Myself"

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Comments
julietk From: julietk Date: July 4th, 2003 02:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Remote job-application-filling-in assistance available from this corner, if desired.

Poor pto452. Hope she gets better soon.
lnr From: lnr Date: July 4th, 2003 04:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Aww love. *hugs*. I'd hoped a nice evening had made you feel a bit better, but I guess not. I suppose it's understandable given the stress about the car though. And I don't think you're unemployable, and I don't think you're stupid for worrying about it either, just wish I coudl amke you feel better.

Anyway, I do hope the rest of the day is better and I look forward to seeing you in the pub. *kiss*
j4 From: j4 Date: July 4th, 2003 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* It was a nice evening, and it did help, and I'm sorry for whining. I'm just sorry I was so late because of car crises!

Less stressed about the car having talked to Ian Allen about it, though; it's now become a fixable-with-time-and-money problem rather than an argh-my-car-is-falling-to-bits problem. But increasingly stressed about other things. :-/
lnr From: lnr Date: July 4th, 2003 05:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Ah it's OK, I don't mind you whining, I just worry. Glad Patricia can be fixed. You know you're welcome to talk to me about other stuff too, but I know it's not always that easy. *hugs*
j4 From: j4 Date: July 4th, 2003 06:51 am (UTC) (Link)
other stuff

It's not easy. I don't want to feel like the only thing we ever talk about is our other relationships, y'know. And I always just worry that I'll upset you by talking about some things. And bore you by talking about others.
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