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Hair anxiety - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
j4
j4
Hair anxiety
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livredor From: livredor Date: August 17th, 2013 11:27 am (UTC) (Link)
It sounds like your inner feminist is kind of judgy and self-righteous! I had one like that for a while, but I also was much less patient than you with the attitude that I should stop doing things I like and presenting myself the way I want to because THE PATRIARCHY also values those things. I didn't have inner dialogues like this, because I'd get about three sentences in and tell my feminist-self, screw you, if feminism is going to make ridiculous restrictions on my behaviour and self-expression and accuse me of false consciousness, I'll stick with sexism, thanks very much.

I did know that feminism is actually important, so in the end what I did was I imagined a new inner feminist for myself, modelled on feminists I like and admire (both public figures and my personal friends). That allowed me to have conversations with myself in which the defensive part, the wanting to look pretty and normal and have the life benefits that go with looking pretty and normal, felt supported and encouraged rather than attacked by the feminist part, the pointing out that it's really unfair that women have to look a certain way in order to get those benefits. And eventually my inner feminist voice kind of integrated into my outer self, so that I now call myself a feminist and go around stating overtly feminist opinions outside my own head.
j4 From: j4 Date: August 19th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
It sounds like your inner feminist is kind of judgy and self-righteous!

Oh, that's not my inner feminist, that's an internalisation of all the self-declared feminists I've had tell me stuff like that (the ones who made me refuse to define myself as a feminist for years), so yeah, judgey and self-righteous is what that voice does best.

My inner feminist is roughly the same as my outer feminist, & (as far as possible given PATRIARCHY etc) doesn't really give a damn one way or the other about hairiness. Unfortunately she's not very good at shutting the other voices up, which probably means she's actually not a feminist but a doormat. :-/
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