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Literacy hour - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
Literacy hour
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jinty From: jinty Date: November 2nd, 2011 03:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Clearly YMMV re fora, and IIRR you have previously indicated that I've had different experiences when using Mumsnet than you have - mine have mostly been pretty good and I think you haven't really fancied it much. I find that although MN does have its fair share of grammar- and spelling-free zones, it is mostly pretty well written (often very amusingly too). It has posts by male parents too, and gay ones too, cor blimey - so when I go there I expect to see a reasonable amount of diversity & commenting. It does depend a lot on which bits you look at though, and even the areas I expect to have some interest in are sometimes very maddening - I find that the Feminism section has got some very interesting postings & posts, but also some incredibly annoying ones that I'd rather avoid, and on balance it makes my life easier just to not bother with that section.

The thing I like about the "it worked for me" is not that I feel I have to trust their advice or viewpoint, but that it tends to give me a view of how much variety there is out there, within the fairly normal mainstream experience. If you read guidelines that say that a baby should start walking at one year (say) then it's more likely to make me worry that A hasn't yet walked much than if I hear from a bunch of parents saying that their baby started toddling at X, Y, and Z months, which adds up to a much wider range of dates.

I absolutely agree with you about the maddeningness of the "lol men just wudnt understnad" attitude.
j4 From: j4 Date: November 2nd, 2011 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think we've seen different bits of mumsnet. :-} Either that or you're more tolerant. (Or both!) Certainly never seen a post by a man, let alone a gay person! (BTW I'm afraid I wouldn't go near a thread about feminism on any web forum -- far too much of a magnet for trolls and idiots.)

I agree that there are some areas where a variety of experience is useful in itself (especially developmental milestones, as you say*). But there are other areas where I don't think it's helpful & it just reinforces the "oh well nobody really knows so you might as well just do what you like" attitude.

*Also developmental milestones don't seem to change that much, and there's not likely to be new research saying that children don't actually need to learn to walk after all, so people's experience 20 years ago is probably just as relevant as their experience 2 years ago -- whereas with feeding the guidelines have changed a lot e.g. my mum says she gave me rusks from about 3 months (and one of the health visitors she saw said that she should give me the "bloody juices" from a roast joint of meat because I obviously needed more substantial food!! -- she didn't take that advice...), but that's definitely deprecated now.

BTW re walking, I think I may have already mentioned that one of the midwives/HVs/etc told me at an antenatal class that most children should be doing a bit of walking & talking by age 2, there's no need to worry at all before then, & even then it's not so much time to worry as time to think about checking that there are no underlying problems getting in the way. So if you were worrying (rather than just using it as a hypothetical example) then IMHO there's really no need to! :)
jinty From: jinty Date: November 2nd, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

I may be more tolerant of Mumsnet than you simply because I hadn't previously had my tolerance worn down by lots of forum-exposure... But yes, there are posts by fathers (saw one today, about access as a separated parent: plenty of sensible-sounding things said on his part) and by lesbian & gay parents, including specific sections, though I'm only talking about seeing folks on the more general sections.

Bless you, I'm not worried about A walking, tho you are good to reassure me! She is doing quite well on that front. No, it was just an example, inspired as much as anything by the fact that my uncle didn't walk until he was well over two years old. Some of the other babies on the thread for Sept 2010 births could walk autonomously long before A could, but others couldn't, so it was just an example of something that I could see quite a spread of experience on.

jinty From: jinty Date: November 3rd, 2011 12:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I forgot to say earlier - perhaps even more depressingly, the things that put me off the MN feminist sections aren't trolls or idiots (you do see those, but they aren't the main feature of those sections). No, it was the (other) feminists - or at least the people who reckon feminism is something quite different from what I do. The sex-negative, Dworkinite, separatist, men-are-pretty-much-all-pr0n-using-gits ones. Or perhaps they count as idiots?
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