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shadows of echoes of memories of songs
Where we're at
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vinaigrettegirl From: vinaigrettegirl Date: December 19th, 2010 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Co-sleeping with the new one is something to talk over with Owen now, and revisiting the things you think of as the pregnancy progresses. The main issue, as far as i can tell, is whether you use a duvet or not, as sheets and blankets are easier to move about so as to keep the right temperature for the baba. An alternative is to have a Moses basket (did i offer to loan you ours?) right next to the bed so feeding is less disruptive to your sleep.

It's quite hard, isn't it, when having been an autonomous and intellectual person with a wide range of emotions one is brought to focus on a situation which is so completely and comprehensively out of the classifications of prior experience. And when there are so few viable role-models in the hinterland, so few reference-points of women who openly balance the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy with the demands and interests of a working life which is in the head, and requires so little of the body. it's too easy to beat oneself up over these changes and to feel there's something wrong...

j4 From: j4 Date: December 20th, 2010 09:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for being a good role model & talking sense to me!

Re co-sleeping, I know it's the Done Thing, but I really don't see how we can fit an extra person (even a tiny one!) in the bed -- addedentry and I barely seem to fit comfortably as it is (and he ALWAYS steals all the duvet, he DOES, don't let him try to tell you otherwise!!). A moses basket by the side of the bed is probably the answer (and you did offer, for which many thanks, but we already have two - it's amazing how many of the things seem to be circulating!). But I suspect that even so the tiredness will still be awful.

BTW I think you also said you had a cot which we could borrow a bit later on - if that offer still stands (& we would be very grateful if so!) please could you let me know what size it is? I am trying to work out which bits of furniture we're going to have to get rid of to make room for the baby. :-}
jinty From: jinty Date: December 20th, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Co-sleeping tends to polarize opinion; for many it's quite the reverse of the Done Thing, but we did it for the first month as it worked well for us. It's not that easy to fit all three of you in the bed without feeling like someone's going to fall out - R got less of the bed than A did, I'm sure! But there are advantages if you can manage it.

The advice we got about co-sleeping was in the context of it facilitating breastfeeding, and was in favour; it consisted of the baby needing to sleep nearest the mother rather than the father, because the mother will be most aware of the baby through initial hormonal connections or some such; and the baby wasn't to sleep in between the parents due to risk of overheating. The advice from the SIDS end of things is less in favour of co-sleeping, but to be honest if you are sticking to the main guidelines about amount of clothing / layers for the baby, you avoid smoking & drinking, and you are breast-feeding, then it should be ok. SIDS is all a bit mysterious and scary but the actual figures for it are very low, especially if you are breast-feeding and are not a young mother.
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