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shadows of echoes of memories of songs
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jinty From: jinty Date: November 4th, 2010 08:37 am (UTC) (Link)
I ended up labouring in our sitting room, with a fair amount of wandering up and down the stairs to get things going. I wasn't at home for the pushing bit so dunno where I'd have done that, but probably also in the sitting room. The assessment, if it can be called such, is more of a glance round to check there's enough space round the edges of wherever you're planning to be, so that midwives can move around you and get to the bits they need to. People do have homebirths in narrowboats after all which is not quite "in a tent" but certainly is more out there than most...

It's true, getting in the bath is actually not bad at all as a basic form of pain relief. I didn't bother with a birthing pool because I had similar questions / problems to what you're mentioning here.
j4 From: j4 Date: November 4th, 2010 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
I was sort of assuming I'd be in the bedroom, which is near the bathroom & has a bed & reasonable amounts of space besides (whereas the sitting room is small & dark & cluttered & not much fun, & the sofa is not very comfortable either as a sofa or as a bed, & obviously there's time to get a new one before next spring but argh argh expensive) ... but on the other hand we also had a plan to swap the sitting room and dining room over which would mean a bigger sitting room, which might be more plausible... BUT all that rearranging is also complicated/expensive & to be honest every time I think of all the logistics involved I just want to cry, I just don't have the energy to do that as well as doing a job & I'm not confident of having any more energy any time soon. All of which bodes VERY BADLY INDEED because if I can't even manage to move some furniture around when I'm a bit tired, there's no way I'm going to be any good at actually bringing up a child when I've had no sleep for months. :-( :-( Also see reply to julietk re now feeling guilty and selfish for not being willing to throw away all the stuff that's in the way of the Perfect Birth Experience (and to be honest I should probably be giving up my job too so that I have enough energy to do all this shit). :-(

Mind you I am probably going to have no choice about giving up my job because all the childcare in Oxford seems to have a 4-year waiting-list, AND there was an article in the Guardian recently saying that if you send your child to nursery before the age of 3 then it will grow up unhappy and badly-behaved and stupid, AND frankly it's not as if I'm any good at my job and the latest report on the cuts etc says they need to decimate (literally!) support/admin/IT/academic-related jobs anyway so I should probably just leave now rather than getting fired. :-(
jinty From: jinty Date: November 4th, 2010 10:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I did some sitting down but no lying down during labour, apart from when I was trying to actually get some sleep, so not while I was actively labouring IYSWIM. The bed should probably be firm and something you can lean on rather than expecting to lie on, so a sofa you could lean on would be good enough I'd expect, but then it's down to a number of factors not just the sofa. (I wouldn't bother buying a new one in advance of labouring on it at any rate - there could be some mess, or at least it wouldn't be good to be inhibited by the thought of messing up yr nice new item!)

Get Owen to do the moving round of stuff, srsly. And friends too, as needed. I found it hard to give up doing things that needed energy - like cutting our massive hedge - but there are things you just need to hand over, honestly. Or don't bother - there are a bunch of things you'd want to do, before & after the birth, that just won't get done, and that's ok, honest.

I bet that Guardian article is by Oliver James (not the estate agent) and I plan to ignore hin entirely, wholly, and with malice aforethought. Stuff him.
j4 From: j4 Date: November 5th, 2010 12:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have finally re-found the Guardian article, it's not Oliver James (though it does refer to him), it's this one: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/02/nurseries-childcare-pre-school-cortisol
jinty From: jinty Date: November 6th, 2010 06:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Have read that now, thanks for the link. What it says to me is:
* the effects are uncertain (raised cortisol levels? There's a whole bit in Bad Science about taking some measurable thing that is not itself the outcome you want to look for, and then reifying that easily-measurable thing into the thing you were first concerned about).
* the effects are small and quite possibly dissapear after some time
* better nurseries / childcare seem to be a valid answer to the concerns raised - admittedly, finding these may not be easy, but that's a question ahead of us in any case.

In sum, these scaremongering gits can fuck off.

OUP and my department is full of working parents, and by crikey i'll be one of them in a year's time. It's part of life and I'm just going to get on with it.
julietk From: julietk Date: November 4th, 2010 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Bedroom sounds like a better bet, then, in those circs.

Moving furniture around is actually surprisingly stressful IME, unless one gets one of those sudden surges of I ACTIVELY WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW at exactly the right time in exactly the right circumstances & manages to ride it for long enough to complete the job*. Thinking about doing it whilst also actively in the process of growing a whole new human being is even more alarming.

* cf dogrando & I having been talking for at least a year about "getting rid of some of the VHS tapes", which is really a very small job indeed, certainly in comparison to furniture-movement, but which nevertheless did not in fact occur until a random moment last weekend when we just felt like doing it. Obviously it took under 30 min & we should have gotten on with it months ago, but hey, w/ever, it's done now.
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