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Growing concerns - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
Growing concerns
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j4 From: j4 Date: April 12th, 2010 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Has the whole of Season 1 aired in the UK?

Sectionals has happened, & I thought that was the end of S1. But now I am not so sure, and the info on Wikipedia just makes me more confused (not least because they've messed up the table).

Is it very missing-the-point of me to say that the best way to feel like you know people on livejournal better is to post & comment more?

Um... slightly? :-}

I rarely comment on anybody's journal any more; mostly I just don't have time to keep up with the conversations. (Everybody else I know seems to be able to post/comment all the time at work; but there is always stuff to do, and they're paying me to work, not to sit and chat to my friends.) I feel like I've been out of touch for so long that I don't want to just leap in to a conversation with something trivial when I've missed so much of the serious stuff, but it's even harder to suddenly start talking about the serious stuff.

I feel sad that I've lost touch so much with a lot of people who I used to feel were really close friends; I don't think writing more here would change that, really, I think it's just drifting apart & going in different directions. It's not really surprising that over the course of a decade people change what they're doing, what their priorities are, where they're going in life, who they spend time with. A lot of the people I was closer to on here are the Cambridge folks, and I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't lived in Cambridge for nearly 4 years now so it's not surprising that I'm no longer as close to the people I used to see in the pub every week. I don't get to visit very often, and that gets harder too because it's awkward to ask people for crash-space when I haven't seen them for 4 years.

I also feel like the people I know on LJ aren't interested in me when I'm not on LJ, if you see what I mean. (But they probably think the same about me; at least, I'm hopeless at keeping in touch by other means as well.)

Basically, being on LJ feels a bit like going back to the pub where I used to go with my school-friends: even if I do meet up with some of the same people, they're not the same people, really, and nor am I, and it's not really the same place at all.

Or, to put it another way (yes, I am thinking out loud, sorry) it's a bit like I don't exist when I'm not on LJ; so the less I post, the less of me exists; so it gets harder and harder to come back here because I'm fading out of the picture.

I probably should have made this a separate post rather than burying it in the comments. But (to continue the party metaphor) I guess it's like one of those unexpected heart-to-hearts sitting on the stairs at the party with someone cool you only just met. :)
sebastienne From: sebastienne Date: April 12th, 2010 12:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
One of the reasons that I prefer keeping up with people through LJ to almost any other method is the lack of expectation. An email *demands* a reply; an invitation to the pub *demands* that I be feeling chatty & sociable at a given time; and don't evenget me started on phone calls. Eurgh. So I like LJ, where I can drop out for a few weeks when things are busy and I don't have time to keep up, where other people can drop in and out of my life with the archive there for them to catch themselves up if they want to, but no obligation to. Just recently I recruited a friend from school into the burlesque group through this method!

So I really can't see anybody judging you for popping up in their trivial comment threads after a period of absence. But I can totally see the logic of why you might not want to - back when I was having trouble with social anxiety I definitely wouldn't have been able to manage it - and maybe drifting apart from these people is OK, too. The gods know I've done enough of that with people I thought I'd know forever.

After all, it is always possible to meet exciting new people! :)
juggzy From: juggzy Date: April 12th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
You will always have crash space at my house. I'm actually thinking of trying for an allotment as well, although my Nemesis has offered me the use of her huge garden in Landbeach.
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