Janet (j4) wrote,

Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

In other news... I am devastatingly tired; still not 100% well in a way that doesn't justify taking time off but just wears me down cough by cough; hopelessly behind with email and phone calls both at home and at work; hating trying to write something every day, but reluctant to admit failure since I'm failing at everything else; struggling with the withdrawal symptoms from (temporarily) giving up coffee; finding myself double-booked at least three times a week, and running out of time into which to postpone things; wishing I could stop thinking the things that stop me thinking about the things I want to think about; constantly stressed about the fact that I am failing to do my bit of organising our wedding and daren't even talk about it on LJ or in real life for fear of offending the people we won't have space to invite (oh well, I've said it now); and more and more waking up with a frankly terrifying sense that all the trivial bits and pieces that make up my life are slowly sliding away from each other and before long they'll be so far apart I won't be able to pull them back together again. Nothing concrete, just the spaces between things getting bigger and bigger. Falls the Shadow.
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