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I have always found it easier to skirt around it - shadows of echoes of memories of songs — LiveJournal
I have always found it easier to skirt around it
Rather than trying to write about things I can't describe or re-open old wounds, I'm going to post pointless lists of things instead.

(As seen on bopeepsheep's journal.}

What's on your bedside table?
A half-pint glass (usually half-full of stale water); half a dozen books that I'm sort of in the middle of reading, or have given up reading; my real paper journal (which I don't write in very much now that I have LJ); Lush "Dream Cream" moisturiser; a small bottle of Valium (left over from when my back was really bad); Tesco herbal "Sleep Aid" tablets; whichever earrings I took out last; nail-clippers; a pen; a little stainless-steel-effect tray full of condoms; and various toys which are longer than they are wide. *cough*

What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
I don't seem to do that very much any more, but it'd probably be cheese, gherkins, or olives at the moment. It depends what's actually in the fridge. (I sometimes eat raw garlic when I'm hungry in the middle of the night, but that's not in the fridge.)

What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
It's not very secret, but "The Sound of Music" always makes me cry. Actually, lots of films always make me cry. The end of "The Wizard of Oz". The funeral in "Four Weddings and a Funeral". "West Side Story". "The Crow", of course (pred goth). The end of "Withnail and I". And yes, okay, I cry when Bambi's mother dies, are you happy now? ... It annoys me slightly that I get equally weepy not only at genuinely moving stuff but also at predictable heart-string-tugging stuff like Disney films.

If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
The only body-mods I can think of that I want don't really come under the heading of "plastic surgery", more under the heading of, er, feeding the cyborg fetish. Blue LEDs all the way down my arms. Titanium-capped pointy teeth. Printed circuit-boards on my skin. HUGE WINGS WITH RAZOR-SHARP FEATHERS.

Excuse me a moment.

Do you have a completely irrational fear?
I'm afraid of dying alone and unloved, but if I thought that was irrational I wouldn't be afraid of it.

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?

Do you ever have to beg?
I like to be made to beg. Does that count?

Do you have too many love interests?
I don't think I can answer that diplomatically. ("It becomes still more difficult to find / Words at once true and kind, / Or not untrue and not unkind.")

Do you know anyone famous?
My dad. He's famous in his field, anyway.

Describe your bed
Black metal frame, reasonably firm mattress but it's starting to get a bit squishy in places. Currently has lilac sheets and pillowcases, black duvet cover, and handcuffs attached to the corners at the head end of the bed.

Spontaneous or plan?
Spontaneous. It's all plan, anyway.

Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Judy Garland! (Hell, this is a fantasy question, right, so her being dead doesn't matter...?)

Do you know how to play poker?
Nope. Would love to learn, though.

What do you carry with you at all times?
Phone, wallet, too many keys. Usually have Palm pilot as well, often have hairties, pens, sweeties, sticking-plasters, stamps, etc.

How do you drive?
Carefully. With a 50-year-old car there's no other way to drive. It's like a kind of meditation: you have to concentrate on the driving, you have to empty your mind of everything but the driving. Very Zen. Very satisfying when it works.

What do you miss most about being little?
My first school; being relatively carefree and happy; the sort of gorgeous velvet lacy dresses that they only make in kids' sizes; parties where people play games rather than just getting drunk and passing out.

Are you happy with your given name?
<shrug> It's an identifier. I don't mind it, but I'm not particularly attached to it.

How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for a year?

What colour is your bedroom?
Unfortunate green carpet (not my choice), even more unfortunate beige curtains (also not my choice) and white woodchip wallpaper (do you have to ask?). Accessorised in black and purple, soon to be redecorated hopefully before I go crazy staring at the woodchip. *twitch*

What was the last song you were listening to?
"Perfect Day" as performed by Kirsty MacColl (with Evan Dando).

Have you ever been in a school play?

Primary school:
I was a sailor in a pageant (we had to do a little dance with sailor-hats and everything); I was Mrs Pepperpot in one school pantomime (a bizarre story featuring lots of characters from kids' books); one of the "8 maids a-milking" in another (a story based on the 12 Days of Christmas); and a flying carpet seller in yet another ("Aladdin and the Forty Thieves").

Secondary school:
I played the Nurse in "A Separate Peace" by Tom Stoppard, for the inter-house drama competition one year at secondary school. (We lost. But it's a great play.) And I was a munchkin in The Wizard of Oz, even though our musical director admitted that I sang better than Isobel who got the part of Dorothy. (But I couldn't act as well.) Not that I'm STILL FUCKING BITTER about this or anything.

Who are your best friends?
I don't apply qualitative/comparative measurement criteria to my friendships.

Have you ever been in love?

Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?

Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
Yes. Not many different ones though.

Do you think you're cute?
Only in the kind of pat-on-the-head awww-look-a-fluffy-thing sense.

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Not particularly.

Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?

What's the geekiest music you own?
Eh? What kind of music counts as "geeky"? ... Actually, I've got an album called "Interactive Music" by... well, the CD cover claims it's by "Rather Interesting", but CDDB thinks it's by Atom Heart. <shrug> I kind of accidentally got it free at the Oxford CD fair many years ago. Anyway, it's got a track called "My Life as a Zip-File", which I think makes it pretty damn geeky. Boring as fuck, too.

Now playing: Kirsty MacColl: Galore

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jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: May 15th, 2003 06:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Good morning!

Do you know how to play poker?
Nope. Would love to learn, though.

If I'd known, I'd've given you a poker book instead... :-) (In the interim, PokerPages lumbers under hundredweights of ads, but is pretty good.)

If you'd said this a year ago, I'd have pointed you at Late Night Poker on Channel 4 vigorously. You can pick up the rules from that if you're willing to pay attention, it's full of laughs, great OTT commentary and dealer button, Barney?. I think they repeat episodes on an unlikely and small channel (can't remember - do you have cable?) but further LNP on terrestrial TV is thought unlikely, alas.
j4 From: j4 Date: May 15th, 2003 06:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
If I'd known, I'd've given you a poker book instead...

No, no, I'm glad you didn't -- I find it utterly impossible to learn card games from books. (And the books you did give me are excellent -- thank you again!) I'd rather learn by playing -- open-hand if necessary at first, but it's the sort of thing I can really only learn by doing.

Hadn't thought of watching poker on TV, though. Will look out for it (yes, we are encabled). Thanks for the pointer!
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: May 16th, 2003 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)

This guide to gambling-related shows coming up soon on British TV says you'll find Late Night Poker on Discovery Home & Leisure these days. If you'd even heard of that channel beforehand then you're doing well.
k425 From: k425 Date: May 16th, 2003 05:02 am (UTC) (Link)
further LNP on terrestrial TV is thought unlikely, alas.

WHAT? No more LNP? No more "I'm Jesse May, cash me in"?
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: May 16th, 2003 06:31 am (UTC) (Link)

I used to have an icon which was a dealer button, you know

It is definitely thought unlikely. I'm trying to look for a source for this, but can't find one quickly. Sky had a similar series earlier in the year, the one with 32 poker players, Barry Hearn, Sam Torrance, Jimmy White and Steve Davis. Not sure how it did for them and whether we'll ever see more of it, but I certainly hope so.

Jesse May has some excellent columns at The Good Gambling Guide and at The Hendon Mob's site which are very much in the typical ramblin' gamblin' May style. He writes very much as he talks.

I once e-mailed Jesse to thank him for his work on LNP and his novel. He replied quickly and politely. What a guy. Inevitably, I read his reply using his voice in my mind, just like he used to be for the first deal of each show in the first three series, the tone escalating an octave and a fifth within a single sentence to the point where only dogs could hear it. Damn, that was just infectious fun.

k425 From: k425 Date: May 17th, 2003 03:12 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I used to have an icon which was a dealer button, you know

Bloke runs a poker site...
www.man.ac.uk/~zlsiida/gambling/poker [it's crap, he says, but may be in the throes of being sorted!].

Is it a Channel 4 thing? Encourage people to watch something, then drop it like a hot potato? First the Tour de France, now LNP. We're going to end up getting Sky eventually, I can tell.

I can play poker. I just can't bet...
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: May 17th, 2003 07:04 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I used to have an icon which was a dealer button, you know

Crikey, I recognise that URL - I used to read Bloke (whose name I can remember clearly, but I shan't mention it in case you treat identity as sensitive info) on USENET all the time. (And still would, if he ever posted to the newsgroups I still follow.) I did a tour of duty in UKVoting, you know...

k425 From: k425 Date: May 22nd, 2003 07:10 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I used to have an icon which was a dealer button, you know

Blimey, took me an age to get back to this!
It's not an anonymity thing, really, more a "what I've called people here" thing. Not realising you knew bloke, I referred to him as Bloke, because unless you know him as Rapunzel it's a bit odd to think of a chap being called that. Um. Where was I? Right. He says he still hangs about in rec.gambling.poker (Or was it misc?) and were you involved in the vote for his uk.gambling (or whatever) group? And he now posts as Dave'OldBloke'Budd, if you were looking out for him. Oh, and he's trying to revamp and tidy up the gambling pages!
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: May 22nd, 2003 07:02 am (UTC) (Link)

OK, I have some proper info on the LNP axe and I would tend to believe the source.

Channel Four has financial problems. It stopped the whole Late Night strand of original programming, because it has wasted a fortune on a digital channel called E4 which is watched by about five people. LNP was not singled out for exclusion.

Source: message board thread starting here.

Perhaps they could get Jesse May and Barney Boatman to start commentating on something else instead. Formula 1 would be good.
k425 From: k425 Date: May 26th, 2003 07:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my, what a thought, Jesse May and Barney on F1!

I'm still miffed about no more LNP.
taimatsu From: taimatsu Date: May 16th, 2003 12:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a friend with assorted circuit-board tattoos :)
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I have a friend with assorted circuit-board tattoos :) <lj-user=atrophy_angel>.

Where did you get your bedlinen from? I need to source inexpensive queen-size duvet-cover etc. that'll go with a black satin sheet, and purple and black decor :) Yours sounds perrrrrfect...
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