April 16th, 2007



I still don't have a start date for my new job, though I do (nearly) have a contract; but basically I'm still in a state of limbo in the current job. On top of this, I'm still scared I won't really be able to do the new job. I think all of these things have been putting more pressure on me than I realised. It feels as though everything's turning into a big question about The Future, and to be honest I was quite happy letting the future unfold and just making the most of whatever it holds, but at the moment I'm having to be a bit more proactive about it. Serves me right for telling everybody else to make decisions, I guess.

On Saturday addedentry and I went to the wedding of two people who (to the best of my knowledge) are not on LiveJournal, where I met a friend whom I hadn't seen for ages, who also has no LiveJournal, but turns out to be going out with a lovely girl who (guess what) has no LiveJournal. What are the chances of that, eh? It's a small world.

Arguments and weddings are a pretty bad combination, on the whole, but it's all tied in with the other stuff that's going round my head: some slightly scratchy discussion about babies and commitment in the comments of someone else's journal (locked, otherwise I'd link); the answers to my poll (which I'm going to get round to writing about real soon now); and even some of the recent comments about the end of a certain high-profile student romance. It's all feeding into the debate in my head. I wish it could just be an abstract debate, but for some of my friends it's all too real at the moment, and I feel utterly powerless to help them.

Do you ever feel that slight sense of vertigo, as everything seems to coalesce into something that makes sense but can't be communicated, some piece of knowledge that's both powerful and unusable? Images half-seen, through a glass, darkly?

What's it all about for you right now? Are you at a crossroads? What can you see? Your exits are: forward.