July 20th, 2004



I managed to get out of the social half of next week's Away Day. It involves going bowling. They tried to convince me that this should take precedence over staying in the office and trying to meet the August 1st deadline for the Graduate Prospectus (not to mention getting the Reporter published on time that day), but I put my foot down. Having refrained from insisting on a day's holiday earlier (and missed out on spending extra time with a loved one as a result), in order to guarantee meeting this bloody deadline, I'm buggered if I'm going to be pressured into wasting half a day on something I don't even want to do.

Today I am missing people I have no right to miss. Not their fault, for they never promised me anything and have given me more than I hoped for; but sometimes I can't help dreaming. A dear friend told me today "You deserve to have someone's whole heart." She's wrong. Nobody has anybody's whole heart; everybody has so many commitments in so many different directions that the best any of us can hope for is the fragments of time (and there were days between) left over after everything else has been done.

And there are so many things still to be done. (And miles to go before I sleep.)