January 6th, 2004

hair

Displacement

I can't seem to do anything. There's plenty of things I should be doing, but instead I'm just faffing around, half tidying things, moving things from one room to another, and constantly coming back to the computer so I can check that I still haven't got any new email.

There's people I want to email, too, people whom I haven't emailed for ages, but I don't know what to say, except "hello", and it always just turns into apologies for the fact that I haven't emailed them for so long, and I feel the need to explain why I haven't emailed for so long, which turns into whining, and then they won't want to hear from me at all.

I feel so empty inside. Tired of crying all the time, tired of being so tired. I don't want to do anything. I just want to go back to bed and sleep for a million years.