November 26th, 2003


I would like you to dance

Happy birthday to hoiho -- 21 again today! :-)

Other news:

I'll be working at the Carlton on Thursday night this week -- I've been asked to cover for one of the other regular bar staff who can't make it. Apologies to anybody who might have wanted me to be there in a social context -- and, I guess, apologies to anybody who'd rather I wasn't there at all -- but I don't really feel I can turn them down. And besides I need the money.

Interview with the University Temporary Employment Service this morning was unexciting; when they said "informal chat" they meant it. It only took about 15 minutes, they asked "Can you touch-type?" and "Can you do the maths bits of Excel?" and then said I'd been added to their list but nothing was likely to come up before next year now.

Went to Portfolio last night for the first time in ages; it's a bit cheeky of me just joining in for the carols (busking for charity at the Craft Market, hopefully on Saturday 20th) but they're nice people and they don't seem to mind. Besides, I know most of the music, and an extra voice is usually welcome.


And I can't even say why it hurts, because it'll just cause an argument.

I give up.


It's just the little things, they prey on my mind, and add to the gaping insecurities which are already there, and they get bigger and bigger and spiral downwards until I feel like it's just all too much to bear.

I wish I could stop caring about the insignificant details. But I've always felt that the details do matter; at least, I don't know how to stop them mattering to me. They don't seem to matter so much to other people. I guess it's just all in my mind. And I probably shouldn't be asking (much less expecting) other people to deal with the mess in my mind.

I don't think I've done a single thing right all day.
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