September 8th, 2003

hair

Perchance to dream

Last night I had very odd dreams in which I was carrying my pillow around with me through the most incongruous situations. I always sleep with my arms wrapped around one of my pillows -- have done ever since I was a child -- but I think this is the first time I've carried the damn thing into a dream with me. Collapse )

All of which, of course, is mere procrastinatory rambling; I really should go to bed, but I don't really feel tired -- I've had too much coffee for that. Also, I feel unsettled, and too much stuff is wandering around in my mind for me to want to go and be alone with it, without distractions. If I could choose what to dream about I might be more inclined to head in the direction of sleep; but as it is I know my dreams will probably just be more nonsense, with a grumbling subtext of anxiety and guilt.

Oh well. Can't put it off for ever, I suppose. <weary sigh> Goodnight all.
  • Current Music
    Animatrix: The Album
blade

Stupid, stupid, stupid

I must read emails more carefully, to avoid completely missing invitations to things & thus offending people. :-(

I must stop being crap and avoidant about email; and I must stop using LiveJournal as a substitute for email, even if it feels much less stressful for some reason.

I must stop taking so many days of non-stop stressy procrastination to get job applications written. Miffy pictures are no substitute for a salary.

I must stop fretting nervously about things I can't possibly influence in any way.

I must stop fretting nervously about things I can influence, because if I carry on feeling this nervous I'll probably fuck them up just because I'm in such a state.

I must GO TO BED before 1am, especially when I have to get up in time to get into work at 9am.

I must get a job that doesn't make me feel so sick at the thought of going into work that I'm even avoiding going to sleep just because I know that when I wake up I'll have to immediately start getting ready for work. :-(
  • Current Music
    tATu, "How Soon Is Now?"