July 20th, 2003

blade

Shopping and fretting

Lots of shopping today. Collapse )

Spent far too much money all told, but I feel a little less worried about that now that I have a Proper Job again (as of Wednesday). Okay, it's still at ProQuest, but a) it's only a four-month contract (this is good, as it means I don't feel obliged to stay there any longer than that, but for the next four months I know I'll have money coming in...), b) it's a better salary than I was on when I left, and c) I will be an Editor rather than an Editorial Assistant. Which will look slightly better on my CV.

Ended up in the Pickerel after shopping, where sion_a and I had a Serious Conversation. No idea if it helped, doubt if it will change anything, but if nothing else at least I feel like I've said some of the things that have been bothering me.

Last part of the evening was spent in the Carlton with sion_a, lnr, meirion and ptc24. Shouldn't have had the half pint of cider at the end of the evening, as I think that was what tipped me over the edge from "moderately mopey in the background" into "maudlin, melancholy, with a strong tinge of want-to-run-away-now-please".

...

Now (much much later) I feel queasy and very unhappy. I feel like there are a hundred things that I want to say on LiveJournal, but I can't say them because they'll just offend or upset people. On the other hand, I seem to have managed to offend people on irc instead; the conversation has left a really nasty taste in my mouth.

I feel like I'm going to end up having to make a choice that I really didn't want to have to make.
  • Current Mood
    bitter, bitter, bitter