July 4th, 2003


It's changed from something comfortable to something else instead

Exhausted and miserable. Tired of failing to get anything done, feeling sick at the prospect of trying to put job applications together only to be told again that I'm unemployable, and really hurt at being laughed at (at least, that was what it sounded like) for worrying about it like this. And even more hurt at the total lack of attempt to apologise, indeed total lack of attempt to say anything until shouted at. And even then it was only "I don't know how to react".

Cross about the car, too. Yesterday one of pto452's fan blades sheared off as I was driving home from the pub. Quite a frightening experience really -- an almighty BANG from somewhere under the bonnet, strong smell of burning, and then the entire car rattling and vibrating enough to make the steering wheel uncomfortable to hold. Managed to ascertain that bits of car weren't rolling into the road, and pull over at the side of Maid's Causeway, but was a bit shaken by the whole thing. Thanks to hoiho for coming to the rescue, or at least stopping me panicking, and reassuring me that I wasn't going to damage the car any further by driving it in that state. God knows how I'm going to get it fixed now though, since I can't drive her to Witchford to see the moggy doctor. :-( New fan blades are only a fiver, but the entire [insert relevant noun here] that the fan's mounted on is worryingly wobbly, and I strongly suspect I'm going to end up having to get the entire bloody cooling system replaced.

Cycled in this morning for the first time in well over a month (hence the physical bits of the exhaustion I'm feeling). Took me almost exactly 20 minutes. I was going to actually use my new cycle computer to see if the spokeheads are right when they say I must be cycling at over 20mph; but the instructions for fitting it are far beyond the comprehension of my tiny little brain. I now ache in places I'd forgotten it was possible to ache.

Carlton beer festival starts tonight -- I'll be going straight there from work. See lots of you there, some time not long after 6pm, hopefully.


Oh, and some of you may have been waiting for a full report of Glastonbury from me -- I'm afraid it's going to have to wait until I have time to write it up! For now, a summary: bands were awesome, weather stayed mostly great, atmosphere was sparkly and magical, and I never ever wanted to leave. I should have just joined up with a circus troupe or something ("can sing, can dance, can wear spangly leotard...") or run away with the Lost Vagueness crew. Time yet for that, I guess.
  • Current Music
    Longpigs, "Lost Myself"

A dozen wicked words

Okay, either there is no tactful way to say "I really don't mind if you two go home together", or else I'm so repulsive that meirion runs a mile at the mere sight of me. In my current state of mind, I'm tending towards the latter theory.

Incidentally, meirion, you can blame me for the (obviously unwelcome) phone call from sion_a after you'd stormed off, too -- I suggested that he might want to try to patch things up with you. He wouldn't have bothered otherwise.

(See, I'm seriously running out of energy. So from now on I'm not going to try to keep sion_a's relationships going as well as my own. Which means, for a start, no more reminders every single Tuesday to phone/email simonb.)