March 26th, 2003

blade

Start me up

Had trouble starting the car this morning. I've noticed it's done the same thing a few times now, and I don't entirely understand why. What happens is:

1. I try to start the car, get a whirring sound and then nothing. Nada. Nil. Starter does absolutely zilch from then on, until:

2. I try to start it with the handle, and the engine turns over but doesn't start. There's no kickback from the starting-handle (which there sometimes is); just nothing happens.

3. I try to start it again properly, and this time it fires up perfectly.

I'm wondering if something is out of line, out of sync, or something (okay, so I have no idea, I'm guessing wildly with very little supporting knowledge) and turning the engine over is just lining it up? It's very annoying, anyway, although it makes a good spectator sport, particularly when it happens at work.

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In other news: Had a lovely evening with lnr last night. Sin-free lasagne with weird not-really-white-sauce topping came out much better than I expected; dessert was wonderful. (;-)

Absolutely shattered this morning, mind, but still managed to get up, phone people about job application forms etc., and get into work only 10 minutes late. Go me.

I have a counselling appointment in about an hour's time. Ironically, that's about the only thing I'm feeling really miserable and stressy about at this precise moment... Hey ho.
  • Current Mood
    IW4 a little more time
blade

Keep your own counsel

Still angry about the counselling appointment. What the nice lady at the General Practice forgot to tell me when she recommended The Cogwheel Trust was that they're a Christian counselling organisation. Which is, quite frankly, the last thing I want. So they mentioned this when they were going through all the introductory blurb, and I reacted with surprise, and then had to explain why I wasn't entirely happy with it. The thing is, while I did have very bad experiences with the church and am still very angry and bitter about a lot of it, I don't think it's terribly relevant to my current mental state. I mean, it's not something I think about unless people try to "witness" (*shudder*) to me, or try to persuade me to come to church (or to FREE PIZZA! and a short talk about how much Jesus loves you) with them.

Once we'd got through that, though, the rest of the session wasn't much better. I'm more and more starting to think that I just don't get on with counselling in general. I'm sick and tired of answering the same questions again and again about when I did what, I'm sick of being told that I'm trying to trivialise certain aspects of my past when in fact I've just got over them, taken what's useful from them and moved on. It's like I'm not allowed to only be bothered by specific things; I have to work through all the same stuff again every single goddamned time. I mean, I know it's all intertwingled, but honestly. I want some "counselling for people who've already had so much counselling they can't keep track" sessions. Advanced counselling for long-term fruitcakes.

Anyway, at least I've only wasted £30; I have to pay for the trial session, but they're letting me "decide whether I want to continue" and I think I already know the answer to that one. I think I'd be better spending the money on cake, or train tickets to Oxford, or something.

Actually, that's a great idea. I'll set aside the money I would have spent on counselling and use it to buy nice things. :)

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Oh, since I'm here, I might as well do the latest viral self-labelling exercise. Collapse )
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    IW4 swords