Janet (j4) wrote,

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Stop asking questions that don't matter anyway

... because I just can't help answering them, goddamnit!

From lark_ascending's journal.

[Spell your name backwards]
.thginKcM tenaJ

[The story behind your LJ user name]
God, this is tedious to explain, but: I used to be "fruitcake" on IRC, years ago. My fellow oxIRCers whinged that it was too long to type (so use tab-complete already!) so I decided to pick another cake. I picked jaffa partly because it's ambiguous whether it's a cake or not (is it a cake? is it a biscuit? who cares?) and partly because my parents used to call me Jayfer (as in, Jayfer Janet. J for Janet. Get it?) So I'd had "jaffa" as an online nick for ages when I got my LJ, and while "jaffa" had already been taken, "j4" hadn't.

I like having a two-character nickname. Especially since it's so balanced, one letter and one number. And for all that it's quite boring to explain, I love the fact that all that history is compressed into those two characters.

[Are you a lesbian?]
Only sometimes.

[How old?]
Nearly 25.

[Where do you live?]

[4 words that sum you up]
Winged. Shiny. Chaotic. Moo.


Red velcro-fastening thingy with black edging. Features black embroidered silhouette of a man raising his hat, captioned "Pardon!" ... Don't even ask. I bought it in Mauritius, to replace my much-loved Benetton purse with the flags of the world on it, which had been stolen from my coat while I was doing my TEFL teaching course at Oxford College of Further Education. I missed that wallet so much that I put up an advert offering a £10 reward for the return of it (hell, there'd been less than £10 cash in it, and I'd cancelled all the cards within minutes, so I figured it might work). I got it back a year later, when it'd been fished out of the river. Cherwell water didn't really agree with it too well.

When I reported the theft to the police, they asked me to say what the wallet contained. Then, as now, I can practically give a complete inventory from memory.

My wallet currently contains:
- about £4 in cash
- Switch card; Visa card; Mastercard; Electron card
- Sainsburys Nectar card; WHSmith reward card; Game reward card
- NI card; driving licence photocard
- D. Murphy opticians business card; playing card which is actually a business card for Lingard's Games (it's a Jack of Spades); calling card from Serraendipiti (a friend who I stupidly lost touch with)
- MMOC membership card; National Trust membership card; library card
- photo of Kit (one of my exes) fire-breathing at the top of Durham Castle
- printed-out photo of somebody who appears to be wielding a sword, but it's a bit hard to tell because it's only a head-and-shoulders capture from a larger picture
- German postage stamp with bats on it
- Swiss postage stamp (plain, postage-paid style)
- hundreds of receipts

Large flat rectangular wooden paddle brush. Bought for the shape, but makes a great hairbrush.

God, I dunno. Colgate something-or-other. Probably purple.

[Jewelry worn daily]
A white gold half-eternity ring with diamonds.
Usually some earrings (today: scimitars & plain studs)

[Pillow cover]
Plain lilac cotton, or more likely polycotton since they're cheapo ones from Woolworths. I'm really going to miss Woolworths.

Not a blanket as such, but bedspread is a kingsized quilted-effect purple satin thing. Also cheap from Woolies, natch. :-)

[Coffee cup]
It has badgers on it. Need I say more?

None at the moment, but am going to get my old pair of specs mirror-tinted in plenty of time for the Matrix II. </pred>

Usually: black cotton. Currently: purple cotton knickers (stupidly forgot I was doing karate today, so now will have hideous VPL under my gi), white bra (so it doesn't show under pale blue t-shirt).

Currently, black and white (badger-coloured!) trainers. I own over 50 pairs of shoes -- from smart court shoes to orange suede 7-inch platforms; from pretty white buckled sandals to 14-hole black DMs.

Ugh, no. ... Oh, well, I have this little black bag, but it's a tiny rucksack, really. 75p from a charity shop, which is about as much as I'm prepared to spend on handbags. Prefer trousers with lots of pockets.

[Favorite trousers]
Black combats (see above). Though I do have a soft spot for the purple crushed velvet trousers that my mum sent me for Hallowe'en in my first term at Oxford. :-)

Don't usually wear any, but if I do it's either Lush "Karma" (hippie-ish but still somehow smart and sexy), some tacky Impulse-a-like body-spray (for that alluring "oversexed teenager" effect), or Nina Ricci "L'Air du Temps" (grown-up perfume!).

[CD in stereo right now]
Oysterband, "The Shouting End of Life" -- I'm trying to displace the Cure's "From the edge of the deep green sea", which is currently on loop in my brain. Stereo at home has Suzanne Vega's "Songs in Red and Grey" in it from last night.

None. If I get one it will be a mark of ownership rather than a decoration: I can't think of any decoration that I wouldn't eventually get bored of. Unless they invent animated or holographic tattoos, in which case I'm there.

Two in each ear. ... See, there was this meme when I was at school that if you had two piercings in one ear it meant you were gay, but in the other ear it meant you were straight. And nobody could ever remember which ear meant which. Actually, I mostly got the second pair done to annoy my parents; they said "For god's sake don't get anything else pierced" when I went to university, so I took them at the letter of their word.

[What you are wearing now]
Black fake moleskin trousers, pale blue t-shirt with "PLACEBO / BULLETPROOF CUPID" on the front and a pair of silver wings on the back. Grey knee-high socks; trainers and underwear as described above.

Waist-length (but still not quite long enough, apparently) straight, naturally mousy-brown, currently hennaed auburn (with roots showing badly). Split ends are EATING MY HEAD. I haven't had my hair cut (or even trimmed) since I was 15 or so.

Don't usually wear any. I never got the hang of all that clever stuff with foundation and blusher and eyeshadow that's meant to make you look natural but prettier -- it just makes me look like me with makeup on. If I'm going goth I'll probably do some kind of stupid design on my face in eyeliner. Like little black hearts, or a silver dragon.

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -

[In my mouth]
Dregs of lemsip. The memory of kisses.

[In my head]
Fragments of song-lyrics and poetry. Conversations I haven't had yet. And somebody who appears to be able to read my mind (so they must be in my head, right?).

For mountains of things.

[After this]
Pretending to work again. Going into town at lunchtime, probably wandering around trying to distract myself from the things in my head.

[Talking to]
Everybody who's currently on #cakes.

I wish. Hungry already.

Knives. Cyborg stuff. Shoes, a bit. More knives. Being photographed. Other sharp pointy shiny things that aren't knives.

[If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason?]
What do you mean "If"? Hehehehe. Er... only kidding. Oh, I dunno; probably myself, for the usual reasons.

[Person you wish you could see right now]
J-P and Kate.

[Is next to you]
Blackwells mouse-mat; my phone; two mugs and an empty glass; tissues; pen-pot; stacks of CDs; papers; Dilbert desk calendar; pens; post-its; general work-related clutter. Stress-sheep on top of monitor.

[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]
Glastonbury! ... Lots of other things too, but you asked for one thing, so that's what you get.

[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]
Dying unloved and alone.

[Do you like candles]

[Do you like hot wax]
Oh god yes. But it's a pain to get out of the sheets.

[Do you like incense]
Yes, particularly frankincense and patchouli (pred, pred, pred).

[Do you like the taste of blood]

[Do you believe in love]
I believe the word exists; I believe lots of concepts exist for which people use the word. Questions like that leave me too tangled up in semiotics to do anything except moo. ... Fuck, who am I kidding? Of course I believe in love.

[Do you believe in soul mates]
I believe in people who know what you're going to say before you've said it; people who make you feel that nothing in the world could be better than just lying on your back in a field with them in the sunshine, talking about everything and nothing.

[Do you believe in love at first sight]
Yes. Though I don't believe it's the only kind of love, or the best.

[Do you believe in Heaven]
Not really. Tried for a while.

[Do you believe in forgiveness]
Yes. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. And it's a choice that mature adults should be able to make (but have the right to choose not to make).

[Do you believe in God]
Not exactly.

[Who is your worst enemy?]
My 14-year-old self.

[If you could have any animal for a pet]
Badgers! ... Or maybe a snake.

[What is the latest you've ever stayed up]
Sorry, I couldn't hear your question, I've got this BUZZING IN MY EYES. Was it something about sleep? I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.

[Ever been to Belgium?]
Only passing through en route to Switzerland, when they still ran the overnight Felixstowe-Zeebrugge ferry.

[Can you eat with chopsticks]

[What's your favorite coin?]

[What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]
Oxford, Oxford, Oxford, Oxford, Oxford. Oh, sorry, five different cities? Oxford, Dublin, Nottingham, Martigny, Montreux.

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