Janet (j4) wrote,

If you're bored then you're boring

I'm prepared to accept that I'm a boring person. The fact remains that I'm bored.

There's very little to do at work. I'm still waiting on other people to do the main things on my to-do list, and since one of the other people I'm waiting on is one of my bosses, there's a limit to how much I can hassle. I've done lots of tidying up of broken links, empty files, etc., but as tidying goes it's the web equivalent of dusting the piano when you really need to rewire the downstairs ring main.

I have faffed with my personal webshite (scraping away a bit of link-rot and some of the glaring out-of-date-ness) but really it needs a complete redesign, and at the moment I have about as much inspiration as a limp lettuce-leaf. I have some bits of writing that I want to get on with at some point (writing up holidays, mostly, but also an essay on something boring which I only want to say once more and then I can just point at the essay from then on) but I need a drink and some music on in the background (I find music on headphones, is too intrusive) in order to get on with that. I can't write anything sustained at work.

Hell, who am I kidding? I can't write anything sustained at all. I've never written anything longer than 5 sides of A4, unless you count undergraduate essays. And I don't even think I'd be able to write an essay these days. I used to want to write poetry, but the poetry I've written so far is all appalling; I could write more in the same vein, but what would be the point?

Part of the problem is that I'm bored of the stuff I've been writing recently, it feels too easy, too lazy to just keep prodding the same old bits of affect memory and writing out the results, but I don't know where else to move from there. I had an idea for a short story about 2 years ago which I think I could write more easily now but I can't find the notes on it, they're in a notepad somewhere, but can I find it, can I find anything? Of course not.

I feel as though I'm just wandering around in a daze. That could be because I'm just wandering around in a daze.

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