Janet (j4) wrote,

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Unexpected thong

I got a free thong in the post today. Really! I didn't just invent this for the sake of the pun. It was a free gift from a catalogue I've ordered Stuff from, and am ordering more Stuff from.

It is without doubt the tackiest piece of underwear I've ever owned. More tacky even than the lime-green scrap of thonginess I got from one of those free-gift-in-a-plastic-egg machines at Whitby-no-not-for-the-bloody-goth-festival-just-visiting-the-place; that sort of tackiness is forgivable at a British seaside resort. More tacky than the red frilly suspender belt (do they count as underwear?) that I bought for my St Trinians costume when I was 14-or-thereabouts, playing in the charity football match between the youth club and the pub (we tied their goalie to the goalposts with our school ties, and won; in retrospect, this was probably a formative experience for me, and I'm sure it was a far-from-unpleasant experience for the goalie).

Anyway. My free gift. It's a black thong with a bloody great red rose adorning the t-piece at the back. I'm thinking of sticking some of those little sparkly diamante things on it, and wearing it with my satin hipster trousers, so the thong is visible when I bend over to try those classy white high-heeled shoes on. I thought I might get my ears pierced a couple more times, too, so I can wear big gold hoops.


Enough about your knickers, FFS, nobody's interested.
More! More!
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