It is without doubt the tackiest piece of underwear I've ever owned. More tacky even than the lime-green scrap of thonginess I got from one of those free-gift-in-a-plastic-egg machines at Whitby-no-not-for-the-bloody-goth-festiv
Anyway. My free gift. It's a black thong with a bloody great red rose adorning the t-piece at the back. I'm thinking of sticking some of those little sparkly diamante things on it, and wearing it with my satin hipster trousers, so the thong is visible when I bend over to try those classy white high-heeled shoes on. I thought I might get my ears pierced a couple more times, too, so I can wear big gold hoops.
Enough about your knickers, FFS, nobody's interested.