?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Putting the 'ack' into 'blog' - shadows of echoes of memories of songs
j4
j4
Putting the 'ack' into 'blog'
I've left my photos on the computer at home that I can't ssh to from work -- hurrah for joined-up technology! -- so I can't finish the rambling pictorial writeup of the Easter Bank Holiday weekend that I was planning. Still, it's only half a month overdue, and in the meantime I've managed to get a few other things done. Oh, nothing interesting; just the usual life-admin, shuffling bank accounts and so on -- though in a positive way, and not on the same scale as Rosie Millard, who has now hit back at all the people who failed to sympathise with her for having no money (but five houses). Amusing to see the Motley Fool making a moral out of this molehill, though.

I've not been using all my time so productively, though. The other day I drew a pig, and it told me some interesting things about myself. Clever pig! (Don't worry, this doesn't herald the start of my descent into the murky waters of furry artwork.) If you want something more realistically porcine, there's always Interfauna (not to be confused with Zeta Creations, who may well stock pig-related products but I'm so not about to check at work). Interfauna also do badgers, natch (though Zeta don't!), and I am sorely tempted by their badger doorstop.

But enough gratuitous fluff. If you'd rather eat cute animals than cuddle them, how about fluffy microbes instead? If it's the fluff that turns you uff, it would be a hard-hearted soul who could fail to be delighted by a cheery stress-relief sperm.

Basically, if you can imagine it, you can buy it on the internet; and if you can't, somebody else probably already has done. Which makes it all the more disappointing that the recent searches on froogle are all too often such a mundane list (table lamp, Listerine, sports bra, hat rack... hat rack? ... and, somewhat prematurely, christmas crackers). The .com counterpart is only slightly better (featherbed, donut maker, pregnancy test, Scrabble deluxe -- okay, actually, this is a lifestyle I could get behind). Of course, the most-recent list changes with every bored and desperate press of F5, so you can keep reloading until amid the stultifying stream of ugg boots and iPods, balsamic vinegar and hiking boots, argyle socks and bagless vacuums, there's suddenly a "mullet wig" (who knew there was a market for these?) or the endearingly undemanding "biscuits".

In work, our biscuit needs are currently catered for by Choco Leibniz. This is clearly an infinitely extensible range, and I eagerly await the introduction of Malthus Milk biscuits, or Hobbesnobs.
Read 14 | Write
Comments
boyofbadgers From: boyofbadgers Date: April 14th, 2005 04:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Millard has totally failed to see why everyone was so enraged, hasn't she? Stupid cow.
boyofbadgers From: boyofbadgers Date: April 14th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Choco Leibniz - The Best Of All Possible Biscuits!
(Deleted comment)
boyofbadgers From: boyofbadgers Date: April 15th, 2005 08:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Who do you think Pangloss was based on?
addedentry From: addedentry Date: April 15th, 2005 12:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Isn't it the paint that washes whiter?
boyofbadgers From: boyofbadgers Date: April 15th, 2005 12:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heheh!
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: April 14th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

Black Og sounds more like a horse than a pig to me

Nothing porcine for one to pork themselves with at ζ creations; really, the biggest surprise is that there hasn't been a take-off Xi Creations for those who fancy themselves, and their Greek letters, kinkier still than Zeta. Am I allowed to describe your pig's tail as highly kinked?

Using this usericon, I can talk :-/
jiggery_pokery From: jiggery_pokery Date: April 14th, 2005 06:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Black Og sounds more like a horse than a pig to me

themself singular. Ugh.
From: besskeloid Date: April 14th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Great set of links. Have an "Excellent" sticker.
lusercop From: lusercop Date: April 14th, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
When I went to geekski in 2004, we went, like in many other years to Hintertux in Austria. As apres-ski, we always went to this one pub, opposite the lowest ski-lift heading up to the slopes, and in the village itself. There was a DJ there one night, (whose name I don't recall), but who had done a track "in tux, tux, hintertux", about the sporting facilities of this town. He had the most impressive mullet, with Oakleys and a red baseball cap. We were obviously instant fans. David wanted a mullet wig after this, and found one, as I understand it, but failed to take it on the ski trip this year, and this DJ didn't turn up to the pub during the week they were there. (I failed to go through lack of money - I could have put it on a credit card, but...)

So there are uses for mullet wigs! (Admittedly, mostly taking the piss out of crazy Austrians)
ewx From: ewx Date: April 14th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I read “donut maker, pregnancy test” as including “male pregnancy test”.
burkesworks From: burkesworks Date: April 14th, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Rosie Millard

My heart bleeds for poor ickle Rosie and her credit cards. I'll wager _she_ won't have to suffer the bailiff's bom at the door, or being forced to borrow from the likes of BrightHouse or Provident.

Choco Leibniz. This is clearly an infinitely extensible range

What variety do you want; philosopher or mathematician? If the latter, there are Fig Newtons already, and Mandelbrot sounds like it ought to have almonds in it.
Choco Leibniz are the finest choccy biccies in the world btw. Do you prefer milk or plain?

nja From: nja Date: April 14th, 2005 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Choco Leibniz are the finest choccy biccies in the world

Sicko perve. The biscuit is like a bit of cardboard, and them continentals can't do proper chocolate. And Leibniz was a nutter. Monads dancing around in predestined harmony? Pah! Give me a McVities plain chocolate digestive.
ewx From: ewx Date: April 14th, 2005 11:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Millard's friend

“I have no money but I still had a £190 haircut last week,”

GET A GRIP.

Read 14 | Write